i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
