id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We need a shit load of segways right now
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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