put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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