I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I am one with the molecules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize