It's Friday. Sex?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
