I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
