I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
