im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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