dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
