I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
