TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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