It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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