I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Hippo gnu deer
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
