You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
