Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize