She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
