It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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