some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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