if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
