would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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