I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
ok first of all what the fuck
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize