I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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