I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
