C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
