i don't plan on having that self control this summer
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just want to make out with him forever
He? As in you personified your dick?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
