Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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