dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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