i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Best friends brother. Beat that.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
