i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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