Nicole vs. Life
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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