my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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