yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
