No stitches, just platelets and will power
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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