I wanna bring you to show and tell
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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