Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Fuck now we have to have sex
In a bet, need to win
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.