There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie