He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
