We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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