STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Randomize
