You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
