Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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