I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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