Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
