Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
