She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
