Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
