Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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