I think I am morally bankrupt
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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