I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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