I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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