i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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