And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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