they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I feel like abortions should bother me more
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just blew my weed a kiss
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
