my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
