The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
