I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
