clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
