My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
