maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
