Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
