Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
