I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
